Finding my light

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress" -Frederick Douglass.

 

I have always struggled, in such a broad sense of the word. I have never had the kinds of struggles that leave people in the dirt, broken down with nowhere to go. I have also never had the kinds of struggles that made me loose friends or family members, I have always had some kind of a support system (even if, at times, I didn't want it). But in my own way, I have struggled.

I have struggled with religion, weight, acne, depression, anxiety, philosophy, illness, school, work, and life. I have been lucky to have had a good house to grow up in, food on the table and a family that worked hard to provide us with what we needed, but still I struggled. Sometimes I felt like I was struggling to keep my head above water (and I am not very good at swimming) and when I would finally be able to breathe again something would shove me back under. I have been this way since I was very young, and continue to struggle even now with thoughts of hopelessness and depression. 

I am working hard, every single day, to make the right choices for my health; mental and physical. I am trying extremely hard to be the wife my husband wants, and deserves, and I am trying to be the friend and family member I know I should be.  I am sick of trying to be perfect, but I am determined (at long last) to become a healthier person, and a happier one at that! 

I am finding my light, finding my inspiration. Through my life the only thing that has ever inspired me has been school, mostly history and english classes that gave me inspiring people, philosophies, and thought processes. I am no longer in school, for the first time in my life I am on my own, out in the cold, no cushy work study job to fall back on, no homework to distract myself from, and no advisor..to well..advise me on how to do what I need to do. I am all on my own and trying desperately to find my way through the darkness that is my future into the light of eating healthy, living correctly, and doing what I need to do to be a better part of this crazy world we live in. 

Sure, I am a random person who decided to write about what inspires her, I am sure many other bloggers out there feel the same, but I am trying to do something different, for myself, and for anyone else who would like to join me in the cause of celebrating life, living to it's fullest and getting the courage to live life to it's full potential! 

sidenote- I did not edit this. I am just taking a chance with this first blog and making it my thoughts, it doesn't have to be perfect. that's not what this blog is going to be about (perfection) it is going to be gritty, it is going to be crazy, and it's going to be wacky... just like it's author! 

Thank you for joining me!